Rabu, November 07, 2001

3 JAM BERSAMA UDIKA, FAJAR & AKU
Tersebutlah kisah, Udika menyeberangi selat pada bulan Syaban. Seperti yg diketahui umum, Udika telah mengembara ke Kolumpo pd 24-26 Syaban. Sebelum sampai di Kolumpo dia telah singgah di Tg. Puteri untuk bertemu Sang Fajar dan Tok Rimau. Mereka membuat ikrar untuk bertemu selepas waktu maghrib di Petak Pusat. Tok dan Fajar lewat tiba kerana Sang Ishwara Tok Rimau tersesat. Dipendekkan cerita, Tok pergi sekolah rendah dan Fajar menunggu di sekolah menengah. Setelah berbalas-balas tepon, mereka bertemu depan to'kong. Tok pun memacu Sang Ishwara dgn laju menuju Petak Pusat tetapi mereka dihalang lagi oleh susunan ratusan besi bertayar bersesak-sesak menuju Pulau Temasik. Tok cuba mempengaruhi fajar untuk turun dari Ishwara, panjat pagar, dan lari 300 hasta ke Petak Pusat, namun begitu Fajar tidak bersemangat untuk mengikut perintah lari berhalangan yang dicadangkan oleh Tok. Mereka terus meredah kesesakkan itu.

Akhirnya bertemulah Fajar dan Tok dengan Udika yanf sedang mnyokong dinding Petak Pusat. Oleh kerana cerita ini sudah diulang-ulang oleh penglipur lara yg lain, maka di sini Tok akan ceritakan sahaja siapa Udika yang Atok Kenali. Tok sangkakan Udika bercakap laju dalam tepon kerana mahu jimatkan kos, rupa-rupanya memang dia berbicara laju macam bertih goreng diluar tepon jua. Luar biasa orangnya, dia juga banyak menjuarai kejohanan2 gezbuk. Antara yg terbaru adalah Piala Rimau yang menghadiahkan VCD Jemapoh dan Piala Charity Maxalon yang menawarkan hadiah misteri. Dia bukan sahaja gemar masuk gezbuk orang, secara fizikal pun dia suka lawat rumah kawan-kawan dia. Klau ikut hati dia, mahu lepas sampai ke Langkawi budak ni. Tidak rugi berkawan dgn dia kerana jika kita sakit dia akan ziarah kita.

Tentu tuan-tuan yang bujang ingin bertanya pendapat Atok samada Udika ini sesuai dibuat isteri. Atok tahu ramai juga yang masih single. Jawapan atok hanya, itu bergantung kepada mata engkau orang. Tok sangkakan budak arab semuanya bersaiz macam Saripah Aini, tapi rupanya Udika ini kecil molek. Kalau kau suka Sheila Majid, engkau tentu suka Udika. Tidak rugi dibuat Isteri kerana orangnya cergas, jalan pun macam bersukan. Kalau dikerah masak, basuh kain, cat rumah, basuh keter tentu tidak menjadi halangan. Hitam manis orangnya. Dan jika engkau impikan hidung mancung tenggelam dalam pipi engkau, Udikalah orang yang engkau cari. Dari segi inteleknya pula, Udika ini amat bijak. Orangnya bercita-cita tinggi untuk jadi saudagar kitab.Kalu engkau budak bengap, janganlah mimpi boleh se pelamin dgn Udika.

Amboi-amboi tersenyum Encik Abang tu. Asyik pikir tentang orang ajer, engkau pun kena ukur baju dibadan sendiri. Engkau kena lihat kemampuan engkau sebelum meminang Udika tu. Pertamanya, telinga engkau mestilah mempunyai stamina yang kuat. Al maklumlah, Udika ni suka bercerita, udah la itu, ceritanya pula laju. Kalau ada Red Bull tu jangan diminum, tuang ajer dalam telinga engkau. Mudah-mudahan tenaganya kuat menghadapi dugaan.

Itulah Udika yang Tok Kenal melalui sesi psikoanalisis di Petak Pusat dan Stesen Bas bersama Fajar. Arakian, Sang Fajar ini masih menyembunyikan rahsia dengan cara mendiamkan diri. Tok tak salahkan dia kerana diaa tengah tidak sihat. Fajar adalah jenis manusia yg sanggup berkorban walau apa pun. Demam-demam pun dia sanggup entertain kawan kawan dia. Opsss... buat apa atok cerita pasal Si Fajar ni, atok sebenarnya dah cerita dalam siri yang lalu. Dia masih begitu, tidak berubah. Begitulah ceritanya.

Rabu, April 11, 2001

It was already late. The people that I carpooled with made several pitstops. By the time we reached Api-api, cars had been lining along the road for several kilometers. I saw people walking toward a certain destination where the gathering was held. Tonight, Fadzil Noor (PAS President) came to Api-api Pontian. We parked the car and started walking with the crowd. From faraway I saw, "Ceramah PAS -30km.." (PAS speech) 30Km? I didn't think I could manage to walk that far. Approaching the sign, I read "Ceramah PAS- 30km/j) It was only a warning sign for cars to slow down to 30 km/h as there were so many people. Thank goodness. Nevertheless, another reason to buy new glasses. We just walked for 1 km and got a good seat among the crowd of about 10 000 people.

Selasa, April 10, 2001

I got a new boss. I saw him report for duty this afternoon. We shake-hands and I congratulated him for the post. He said, "we gonna meet" this thursday. I see more works are coming my way.

Sabtu, April 07, 2001

My sight isn't clear. Time for new glasses. The current glasses are of ala-Clark-Kent look. This time I need something more conservative and executive design.

Rabu, April 04, 2001

All my works take a rest for a while. This will gimme more time to focus on my core business i.e. updating the website of my oraganization. If I don't do this, nobody will. People keep on complaining but they never contribute.

Khamis, Mac 29, 2001

The man who won Lunas constituency, YB Saifuddin, came to town. He was going to give a speech on 1) Why BA won in Lunas and 2) The current condition of Anwar Ibrahim. Police erected roadblocks in all entrance areas leading to the assembly. Even, the dark unlit street was not spared. Me and my friends just had to pass them. They just looked at our face and let us through. At the assembly, there were about 20 to 50 policemen, not counting the ones in plain clothes. What was the commotion all about? Why there was the need of this show of force? It's clear that the police force has been used for political gain of the party in control, ie BN! These policemen had, for sure, other better things to do than being the slaves of politicians. They should have taken care the raising crime rate in Johor Bahru and the drug addicts at the empty warehouse at JB train station. NO! Some politicians had to instruct them to guard roads just to intimidate people. But we are no fools. We have done nothing wrong. Despite the roadblocks, many supporters turn up at the gathering. The assembly was peaceful, you can see kids and women listening to the speech. I enjoyed the speech, it was both, informative and entertaining. No matter how hard the policemen tried to maintain their fierce serious look, they also could not help laughing at jokes cracked by the speaker.

Jumaat, Mac 23, 2001

Gotta go to the football field and see a soccer tournament. I'm not playing this time.
The most stupid thing to do is to go shopping with a group of female executives. I did that mistake in Langkawi, the so called shopping paradise. These ladies are my collegues from work, we were on working-holiday assignment/excursion. I refrained myself from buying anything for 2 reasons: 1) I prefer to travel light 2) I don't have much money. The ladies bought tonnes of stuffs, corelle, acoroc, melamine (mostly branded kitchenware). You guys tell me, who has to carry the goods for them? They looked around, they saw me carrying nothing but a can of chocolate. The asked me to carry the stuff for them. Being a gentlement, I obliged. So much for traveling light!

Sabtu, Mac 17, 2001

They have 20 minutes and yet they asked me to put 1/2 inch thick report of info into their multimedia presentation. On top of that they asked for audio, video and animation. I don't think they know what they want. 20 minute presentation at 2 minute perslide, one vcan only afford 10 slides.
Just came back from Langkawi. Nice Island with cheap food and branded goods. Guy Laroche wallet has 20% discount but still I couldn't buy it. Who want a $400 wallet when you can only afford to fill it with coins. Nevertheless I bought myself fake made in Thailand Manchester United jersey for $25 and Hawaiian Shirts for $15 each.

Jumaat, Mac 16, 2001

My org. play soccer against a teenager team. We were trashed. The result was 10-1. We lost big time!

Khamis, Mac 01, 2001

My life is full of meetings because I serve many bosses. Sometimes I call for meetings because at certain level I'm the boss of some people. Yes, I'm busy but the learning experience is incredibly rewarding. Just take one example, just because they need me to serve in the Quality Circle group, I got to go to Langkawi to attend on of the big meeting..yes...Mahader's Paradise Island. I'll be having fun in the sea, sun, & sand on the company's ca$h! Life is great!

Sabtu, Februari 17, 2001

It's has been a helluva week. Timenet disconnected the connection while verifying my password. I tried several times and then i gave up. Maybe there is a conspiracy against me. The RM22000 software that my coworker bought for our lab is not compatible with our computers. She then handed me the problem to solve.

Isnin, Februari 12, 2001

I attended a course on LAN and at the same time I also booked a sit at Visual Basic training session. What was I thinking?! I can't clone myself and be at 2 places at the same time. Using my persuasion technique plus the power of IT head, I asked my subordinate to replace me for Visual Basic. He seemed reluctant, but I know he'd thank me for this.

Khamis, Februari 08, 2001

I managed to setup a website for It Unit of my org. People will not disturb me at my office with problems like lost screensaver, lost icons, pinter can't print etc. The have to put their problems in writing using a web form. I'll then direct the report to my technician. Whether my technician will act on it or not that another story. Nothing in my intray today! It's a miracle.

Went to KeAdilan Rally last nite. The point to remember based on Ezam's speech is NEVER TRUST UTUSAN and never take point from Utusan to argue with people.

Selasa, Februari 06, 2001

Found in private message zone of HARIMAU JADIAN GUESTBOOK : "Saya akan menerbitkan sebuah tabloid mengenai ******** dan ****** bulan March/April nanti, insyaalah. Oleh itu, saya sedang mencari penulis-penulis sambilan untuk memenuhi ruangan dan ingin menjemput saudara untuk menjadi salah seorang daripadanya. Itupun jika saudara berminat. Sila hubungi saya melalui email ataupun ditalian 017-*******."
A proposal to become a writer for a tabloid. Wow! Opportunity knocks...but it could be a trap for this old tiger. Don't worry guys, I'll be careful.

Ahad, Februari 04, 2001

HARIMAU JADIAN GUESTBOOK - [ Provided by: Webmaster Station ]
Somebody Wrote in my guestbook...
"This site quit funny, however, most of the jokes are cetak rompak. visit my site for quality jokes."

and guess what, I have the same comment about his website. FYI, I've been looking for a competitor to benchmark, well until I find a hotter website, his will do. It's fun to have an arch enemy.

Selasa, Januari 30, 2001

CORPORATE TAKEOVER
It used to be Onelist.com, then it turned to Egroups.com and now it's Yahoogroups. Within less than two years the mailinglist service that I use to distribute my e-zine changes hands. And I got to inform the subscribers about the changes.But on 2nd thought, I don't think they care.
Lately my life has become a living hell. Too many things to do and so little time. I discover as expected, I know little about my job. Just today I took a proxy server and asked a programmer and 2 technicians to configure the servers. Do I know what is a proxy server? NO! Even the proggramer and the technicians failed to make me understand. Nevertheless, during my monthly report I will report to my superiors that I managed to install a proxy server in our building. They will say.. Proxy Server....? What the...whateverlah...but this new guy is really impressive! Yes fellow friends, I'm the shortsighted king thet rule the blinds!

Rabu, Januari 24, 2001

DATSUN 120Y
Tried to organized a big event, online gathering of LTP subscribers but my notice of meeting was baunced back to me. Damn! I got to reschedule the gathering. My sister organized an open house eating feast. Her boyfriend came. I hate his gut. I wish I could kick his ass but I need to be polite to guest so I just ignore him. My brother serviced his car but after that he couldn't start his car. He mistakenly disorganized the spark plugs of his Datsun 120Y. Funny when we finally discovered the mistake. Nevertheless his cas seems to produce an explosion sound every 3 seconds.

Selasa, Januari 23, 2001

BUYING A HOUSE
Top ten things I look for when choosing a house other than size and price.
1. Surau/Mosque
2. Neighbor
3. Nearby school
4. Extra parking space outside the fence of the house
5. Entry point from the main road
6. Sun setting and rising orientation
7. Away from flood (Hill area is a preference)
8. Nearby shops
9. History of the developer
10. Near to workplace.

Isnin, Januari 22, 2001

VCD
I raed my own wrutings and found errors and typos...I'll not edit them. They are here to stay. Nobody cares, for all I know, I'm the only one who read my journals. If there are teachers of ESL outthere, aha..U have no power whatsover over me!

Back to today's topic. Notice this whenever you buy pirated VCDs, the beginning part of a VCD does not necessarily represents the whole. What the pirate did was..they insert an introduction of Dolby Stereao taken from a very fine DVD. Thus, just the first 3 minute introduction is crystal clear and the second part of the the VCD is just crap taken in a cinema. If you really need to test the VCD, it's save to view DIsc 2 of the package not disc 1 where the intro is located. Enjoy your shopping. LOng live pirated VCDs!!!

Khamis, Januari 18, 2001

Damn! I thought my new post would give me more free time. My in-tray is full of letters & memos calling for meeting. When will I get to play with the computers? Hopefully during this weekend. But they give me new office, PC, parking space access to other 10 pc's in the office after working hour and the photocopy machine. In my latest meeting I asked for RM1000 scanner to be put on my table. They agreed without argument. It seems I power but I don't have time to play with my toys.

Selasa, Januari 16, 2001

I am given the responsibility to be the speaker for our community Marhaban group (Team of people that recite Choral Poetry about the Prophet). We visited houses, recite the poetry, I greeted the hosts, wish them happy hari raya. Ask for forgiveness of whatever wrong we did toward them. My speeches last night was simple and short. Why? I needed to finish the round early as Dr. Hassan Ali (Activist) was coming to the nearby housing estate. Some of my fellow neighbors can read me like a book. I was a little bit embarassed. I didn't want to be labeled as opposition extremist. We finished the round about 10.30pm. I rushed to my car and dash to the rally. The funny thing was, as I drove around to find a parking space, I saw my neighbors were doing the same. We are all supporters of Islamic based movement. My anxiety was just a waste of brain cell energy.

Isnin, Januari 15, 2001

-mahdzan.com- the mahdzan family cyber portal
PLANNING
I found the website above. Very interesting. I wish i had time to come up with something like that for my family. I know enough to do it, just that I got no time. Just this morning I presented my 2 year job masterplan for my organisation in a meeting. I presented very fast and at the same time I leave some technical jargons enough to make them scratch their head and leave their mouth hanging. I hope they buy my bluff. FYI, i can do the whole planning within 6 months. My strategy, if later on I produce more than I plan...I'll be looked at as a Superman! More bonus maybe :)

Ahad, Januari 14, 2001

OPEN HOUSE
I entered the double storey house of one of the siblings of deputy ministers. The house was nicely decorated with expensive decors. Expensive is a little bit subjective, let's just say I can't afford to buy those things thus they are expensive. I was there because of the host open house invitation. I ate roti jala (I notice I like to talk about food in my log). The other guests had left and I got special treatment from the host. We conversed about today's business climate and UMNO's problems. He's an UMNO but he complained a lot about its leaderships. Here are some juicy predictions & comments from him: 1) Hishammudin time has come. He'll dbe ropped from certain important post. 2) Abdullah needs to control Najib, Tyson and Muhyidin in order to control UMNo. 3) Dr. M is not afraid of PAS and Keadilan but he's more afraid of the UMNO sharks that are waiting for the time he steps down from the thrown. 4) malay unity meeting with PAs is UMNO's trap. And at 5.00 pm, I left the house with full stomach.

Don't forget to visit my favourite site. Pump up the site's counter baby!
LAWAK TANPA PERMIT

Sabtu, Januari 13, 2001

It was 3.15 p.m., the sate (BBQ chicken cubes on bamboo stick) was late. Better late than never. I despatched the whole $150 worth of sate to the feast hall. We listened to Hari Raya speech by the Dept. Hari Raya Gathering Director. We started eating.So much food ..sate..laksa..cakes...noodles..cookies...air basuh tangan...etc. Enough to feed an army! I had a meeting, so I just ate for 30 minutes...pity me. There must be leftovers by the time I finish the meeting, I thought. At 5.00 p.m. the Director came to my meeting room and asked me to return the empty sate containers to the supplier. Where's the sate..there's no more... thought I saw a lot. The Director smiled, "Obviously you collegues tupperwarized (tapau) the whole food ration. Enough for them to organize a private open house at home!" Should have taken the food when I left the Feast Hall.

Jumaat, Januari 12, 2001

In the whole month of Syawal, the community at my housing estate (somewhere in Johor) conduct Marhaban. What is Marhaban? Well, it's a Choral Poetry of the Prophet Mohammad. We go from one house to another reciting the poem in melody (unplugged). At the same time the representative of the delegate would wish Happy Hari Raya to the hosts. We also ask for forgiveness if we've done anything wrong to the host. As usual, I sometimes give the speech on behalf of the delegates. Last night in my opening speech, I said to the host and 30 over crowd "Wear Islam in all our activities!". One of the crowd replied with takbir in the convention of the opposition party crowd war cry. I look at him and smile.

Khamis, Januari 11, 2001

It dawns on me that i should speak English here, or else I wont get enough audiece. Yes, you are right I'm crazy for attention. So gimme your attention PLEASE! or else I hack your PC, read your e-mail, & install virus in your printer. Ciao baby.
Semua orang dah blah. Aku dok sorang dalam separuh gelap membina laman web yang menceritakan kisah kembara Harimau Jadian.

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